Since it is obvious in what way yoga pushes our physical boundaries everytime we come on the mat, I want to talk about our emotional boundaries in this post.
Lots of people feel taken advantage of by their spouse, friends or family. We often feel like the victim of the situation, but we rarely look at our part in it.
Maybe our boundaries are being violated because we allow it? Or maybe we are even actively contributing to their violation?
The first step to healthy emotional boundaries for yourself is clarity and detachment. Since we are emotional beings, it is very difficult to detach emotions from personal experiences.
That's why we are perfectly capable to give advice to a friend in a bad situation but we can't follow our own advice.
Everything is perception. We are emotionally unatached to the situation of others so we perceive another reality than the person in that situation.
What yoga teaches us, is to see emotion for what it is: a thought you give a certain meaning. In other words, you can CHOOSE to give this thought another meaning or you can CHOOSE to see this thought as something unreal, something your mind has made up. And then you can detach from it...
Once you become detached from the emotion, you now see the same reality as an outsider . This is key to set your emotional boundaries: perceive the reality as it IS, with emotional detachment.
When you reach this stade, you can set your emotional boundaries and understand which kind of behavior is unacceptable and when you should say 'no'.
Once you have set your boundaries, the most difficult part is to honor them. This is a duty you have to yourself. Whenever you let someone violate them, you are a prey to exploitation, this can be emotional, financial, sexual, .... Sometimes we are so trapped in this we become blind and don't even see we are being abused.
If you have strong boundaries, you don't let yourself get carried away by other people's drama. You recognize the truth and you can stay in your own bubble without suffering or feeling like a victim.
So stop suffering over the past, stop agonizing over the future and live in the moment knowing you can set your mind free.